The five-year anniversary of my marriage is coming up in a couple of weeks. Conveniently, it falls on a Saturday. Yesterday I booked the babysitter. As her cell phone rang in my ear, I imagined my husband and I enjoying a decadent dinner at one of Seattle’s trendy restaurants. I smugly checked “get a babysitter” off the to-do list and moved on to “pick up end of the year gift for Sage’s teacher.”
But the image of the two us alone at the table has lingered today. I’m looking forward to the time together, but I’m also realizing it’s been awhile since we’ve been able to just enjoy each other’s company. Our second child was born close to six months ago and we’ve had almost no time to ourselves since he was born.
I’ve read that studies show the birth of a child can decrease marital happiness. I don’t know why this is, although I could guess. Sleep deprivation, piles and piles of laundry, conversations and ordeals surrounding the topic of poop, to name a few.
But for us I would venture the biggest obstacle to happiness is time. There isn’t enough of it. Time for the kids, time for ourselves, time for work, and it seems lastly, time for our marriage.
Right now, I’d say we’re running on reserves. We’re doing okay, I think we both still feel happy in our marriage. But I know if we wait too long, the scales could tip.
So I think tonight I’ll humbly pull out that to-do list and write down, “find something sexy to wear.” I know one date night isn’t enough to make up for six months of coasting, but it’s a start.