the phrase “sucking the life out of me” crosses my mind at least once a day, so i must be gearing up to wean my 17-month-old girl, lily. which leads me to wonder what is going to happen when i stop nursing. i mentioned this the other day to a friend who said her post-nursing breasts look like tube socks with rocks. lily can turn her head 180 degrees away from my body while still nursing and it doesn’t hurt. i am literally afraid to see what is waiting for me on the other side of weaning. i don’t think it’s going to be very pretty.
at the same time, i keep thinking about sacrifice and why we give so much to our children despite great personal cost. it must be some swirling combination of biological drive, duty/obligation/responsibility and that passionate, nearly desperate love. ultimately, it’s been great for me to give so much away and stop thinking about myself all the time. but it just blows me away to realize the scope of the sacrifices i am asked to make on a daily basis.
whoops, there go my boobs . . . hmmm, what should i make for dinner?